The Introvert’s Guide to…Dealing with “Clingy” Relationships

In this episode, Jess and Phil discuss dealing with “clingy” relationships; those friends that demand more time you can give, or the romantic relationship that anxious or upset if they can’t be with you all the time.

Articles referenced in this episode:

Phil’s Patreon:

3 comments on “The Introvert’s Guide to…Dealing with “Clingy” Relationships
  1. karol rodrigues says:

    I discovered the podcast after an introverted person stopped talking to me, blocked me… It hit me so hard, so hard. It still hurts today. It’s been almost two months since this happened. I just wanted to understand what happened. I’m trying to understand about introverts and I saw that I did it all wrong. With each new piece of information about introverts, I feel like a punch in the stomach. I was wrong, and I confess that I can’t hear this episode until the end. It’s too painful to hear because I really did everything an introvert doesn’t like. But I didn’t know… And sometimes what you guys say about dating… There are people who just fall in love easily and it’s not because of a TV series, we all have a kind of a lack when looking for relationships. In these cases I always remember the title of the work by Carson McCullers, “The Heart is a Lonely Hunter”. Okay, the story is in a very different context than introverts, but the title… Some of the things you said hurt me, but it was because I remembered my personal experience. I understand the issue of not liking your dates, because of some attitudes, but I found it a little cruel. Sometimes I feel like you talk like no one understands you, and everyone is inconvenient and intrusive. Maybe I’m overreacting, but just maybe you shouldn’t do the same things that extroverts do to introverts: judge. I really didn’t know what to do with an introvert and I’m really sorry. I’m trying to not judge her. I was angry at first, but then researched it to understand (maybe I should have done this sooner…). I would never intentionally be intrusive, but I was. When I like someone I want to express it. But I think it would be much better if the introvert I liked had made it clear that what I was doing was bothering her… Communicating is very important. I don’t think anyone can guess if you don’t talk. Feelings don’t have a rule (unfortunately).

    But thanks for the podcast. This is important information. I just wish I had found it before I did everything wrong with the person I liked.


    1. Phil says:

      Thanks for your constructive feedback. And thanks for listening. we’re glad you found it helpful, even if it was after the fact.

      1. I am an introvert who is currently dealing with an extroverted friend who does not ” get” that my not wanting to hang out all the time has absolutely nothing to do with how I feel about her or our friendship. I have a busy schedule all week long. Weekends are my only chance to ” unwind” and she seems to always want to spend weekends with me. She lives right around the corner from me so it’s not like I can avoid her or like she can’t stop by and see me if she wants to. I have cut off the friendship twice because of feeling like she wasn’t listening whenever I would tell her that I needed space. What’s worse when my husband was alive ( he was recently hit by a car and I am still grieving of course) she seemed to want to compete with him like if I told her that I had done something with him she would want to do that again with me the following week. She also tried to pressure me to go back to school this upcoming fall even though I told her that I am not ready. I don’t even understand why she likes to hang out with me so much. She has dozens of friends she talks to people wherever we go
        I feel like I really don’t have much in common with her and I don’t know how to say this without sounding ” judgmental” but most of my interactions with her are ” superficial and boring” to me. She appears to be having fun when we hang out and I do too she makes me laugh but sometimes when I don’t feel ” light hearted” and I just want to be alone and safe to cry she is the last person that I want to interact with because I feel guilty for not wanting to be ” light hearted and fun” but you really shouldn’t sing songs to someone with a heavy heart and I feel like no matter what I say to her she doesn’t listen.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.